Your avitar is EVIL!
And kind of gross ;D
But I like it cause honestly, it's how I feel right now. I really have little doubt in my mind that if it was not for my girls, I would have done something extrememly bloody by now.
I actually just got off the phone with her, and I played the last card in my hand, the girls. I told her that if she didn't leave him immediately, and start seeing a couselor immediately, that she could consider herself out of my girls lifes for good. And trust me, I have plenty of firepower to back it up. But, to let you know how I came to this decision, I'll give you the summary of events of the last few days.
Sunday the 24th was my birthday, and even though I knew I wasn't going to see her all weekend, and that she was going to spend it with "him", it didn't take that desire away. I came home Friday to find her gone, WITHOUT their car seats, and this isn't the first time she has done this. But she came and left without even saying Happy Birthday to me, or anything else for that matter.
So sat. comes, and I spend all day, and I mean all day cleaning the house, so I wouldn't have to do it one my birthday. I had planned to go out for the night to celebrate, and try to get my mind off everything. But, they ended up having to cancel, and I didn't feel like going out alone, so I decided to just go get a movie. On the way back, guess who I should happen to pull up next to at a stop light? My wife, and "him", and he's driving the car I cought her for her birthday no less. I screamed at them for a min, the took off.
And basically, I have been crying my eyes out in bed ever since. Some way to spend your birthday, huh? But, I just couldn't bring myself to do anything else.
So Mon. morn comes, and she shows up to watch the girls, and I leave for work. I tried to keep my composure at work, but whenever no one was around, I was crying on my desk. Then I come home, and I couldn't control myself anymore. She was gone with the girls, with no car seats again. The house I had spent all day Sat. cleaning was annihilated, she had slept in my bed while I was gone, used my shower, used my toothbrush, and ate my food that she hadn't payed for. And honestly, this is how it's been for the last 2 months, her taking advantage of me. And I let her, because I hoped we could work things out. But after this weekend, and after she put my daughters lifes at risk again, I couldn't take it anymore. When she came back, I told her the next time she left with the girls without their seats, she could be expecting the police waiting for her when she returned. And I also thanked her for giving me such a great birthday.
But everything she had done to me just ate away at me tonite, and I more or less had a breakdown. I called my moms-in-law, and she came over to find me crying hystericlly on the back deck, and the disaster in my house. I just couldn't take it anymore, any of it. She had enough herself, and called my wife at work and told her it was time to stop the bullshit and growup, regardless of whether she wanted to work things out with me or not. And that's when I took the phone, and made the ultimatum. I don't know if it was the right tihing to do or not, but I do think it's whats best for me, and probably my girls, and my moms-in-law supported it. She said she was going to come over and talk to me tomorrow, so we'll see what happens.
I hate to say it, I love my daughters, I love those that love me back, I love my job, and there's a lot of other things I love in my life right now and that I should be happy for, but I really just hate my life right now.