I feel your pain. My woes aren't quite so bad though. My Black 2009 WRX will soon have more repair paint than stock paint in an effort to remove the hail damage I sustained in June. This car has been one cosmetic nightmare after another. Here is the list by approximate Odometer mileage.
@ 350 miles my first front bumper & foglight was shattered by a flying tree limb kicked up by a truck, I had owned it for just 2 days.
@ 5500 miles I warped 2 stock 17" Subaru WRX Rims.
@ 6500 miles a co-worker opened his 96 Legacy's door in to my rear passengerside door, hitting it so hard he dented it and removed paint
@ 7250 miles my Buddies fiance cut her wheel early in thier driveway while backing out, removing a large section of paint from the rear bumper
@ 14,000 miles I realized that rocks had destroyed both foglights
@ 20,000 miles I warped a 16" winter rim on a group drive
@ 28,000 miles I hit a deer, destroying my second bumper, another foglight, my passenger side fender, my grill, passenger side headlight and the bar between headlights.
@ 39,000 miles I realized that despite having the Subara rock guards, I still broke both foglights again, during the summer this time.
@ 46,000 miles I got rained on by golfball and possibly larger sized hail, denting the roof, hood, rear hatch & front driverside fender.
@ 48,000 miles I hit another pothole and ruined 2 Cooper tires due to sidewall bubbles.
I am now at about 59,000 miles. I have owned the car since March 2009. Theres other minor stuff that happened too, at least it is mechanically sound, knock on wood. Only mechanical issues have been bad HVAC blower and bad front passenger side wheel bearing. My previous car never hit anything except a deer leg and an owl, neither of which caused real damage. After I hit the deer with the Subaru I was driving my old Grand Am and hit a porcupine, destroying that cars foglight. I bought the Subaru because the Grand Am wasn't mechanically sound all the time and it had 220,000 miles on it. Ever since I have had the Subaru, I have not had any more mechanical issues with the Grand Am despite lending it to friends and family and driving my self as a backup vehicle adding 20,000 miles! Go figure.